Welcome to The Restrained Grace Back Room

Please read more about us below to make sure this is the right place for you before applying.

Is The Back Room right for you?

Who We Are

We're an anti-racist, intersectional feminist company who has created a space for kink, BDSM, and D/s education, sex positivity, body positivity, relationship advice, community, and growth, as well as to share exclusive sales, discounts, product previews, and more from restrainedgrace.com. We try really hard not to spam y'all.

Our community is vetted to ensure the safety of our team and all members. 

Who is welcome?

Anyone of any experience level who is willing to share, learn, and grow with us in our efforts to make the kink community a safer one that, by very definition, pushes for acceptance and inclusivity.

Community Rules

It is your responsibility to read and follow all of the group rules and posting guidelines.


Breaking any rule will get you quickly banned. 

1.) Don't be a dick.

Be kind. No bullying or hate speech. No personal attacks.Bullying of any kind isn't allowed, and degrading comments about things like race, religion, culture, body-type, sexual orientation, gender or identity will not be tolerated. Healthy debates are natural, but kindness is required.And what comes with that is assuming that others are not trying to be a dick, as well.If you can’t be kind, be quiet.

We are here to learn and educate, primarily. Yes, we share memes and sexy stories and everything that goes with creating a community, but our primary goal as group members will always be to learn or help others learn.

Please try to remember that interactions in this group are not like the unmoderated comment sections you see elsewhere. Please assume the best of others when interacting, and help each other. 

2.) Prohibited Content & Activities

Posting content or engaging in any of the following activities are grounds for an immediate ban:

  • Child exploitation: No posts relating to the exploitation of children. No photos of children, period. 
  • Hateful content: Restrained Grace does not condone or tolerate hate or violence against people based on race, ethnicity, skin color, national origin, religion, age, gender, sexual orientation, disability, medical condition, body type or size, or appearance. We do not allow content from organizations known to promote or support such hate.
  • Sex Work: No posts or comments facilitating sex work in any capacity. Conversations about the business side of sex work are allowed.
  • Promotion of Self Harm
  • Spam
  • Genitals, Sex Acts & Bodily Fluids: Though we do allow breasts, chests, and butts, we do not allow photos or video of sex acts or bodily fluids. Keep it classy.

3.) Respect Everyone's Privacy

Don’t tag people in comments/pictures/posts outside of this group. Some of us are very careful to keep our non-Vanilla lives out of the Vanilla world.

Being part of this group requires mutual trust. Authentic, expressive discussions make groups great, but may also be sensitive and private. What's shared in the group stays in the group, outing someone is heinous and not tolerated. This includes sharing screen shots of the group elsewhere. 

4.) Notify Admin of Any Violation

Tag admin in any post or on any comment that you see that violates our rules and guidelines. We rely on our community to help keep this community safe. You can also DM admin with concerns and questions.

Admins are: 

Miss Annie & Miss Tara (owners of Restrained Grace), Eric Jennings, Lace Watkins, Darling Colleen, Wendie Banuelos, Thia (They/Them) and Rachel Kathryn. 

5.) No Kink Shaming

Share your opinions in a courteous manner, without making generalizations, or don't share them at all. 

6.) No Creeping or Unsolicited DMs

Don't be creepy in the comments. Do not contact anyone directly without their explicit consent. This is not a dating platform. Unsolicited messages and pushy comments from one member to another are grounds for banning. This INCLUDES admin and mods. If you receive an unsolicited friend request or DM, please send a screenshot to any of the admin so we can remove the person from the group. You do not need permission to contact admin with concerns about the group or group members.

7.) Gendering & Pronouns

Please use the preferred pronouns of other members if you are made aware of them. Please remember that not all Doms are men/masculine and not all submissives are women/feminine. This is an intersectional feminist space, and while we don't police pronouns in conversation, aggressively misgendering anyone will get you banned. 

8.) Content Warnings

Please preface sensitive content with a CW: and include themes that others may prefer not to read. This includes: abuse, body shaming/weight, pregnancy, edge play, weapons, blood, CNC, etc. WHEN IN DOUBT ADD A CONTENT WARNING. If asked to add one, do so without complaint.

We will not allow the use of the term “r*pe play” or the word "r*pe" in the community, as this is intensely triggering for sexual assault survivors. CNC gets the point across.When asking for a content warning, rule #1 still applies! Just politely ask. 

9.) No personal ads

This isn't a dating community, nor a meat market. Don't post about looking for a partner, and don't proposition members, even in the comments. Don't solicit for donations or self-promote unless approved by admin. 

10.) Order Inquiries

For the sake of a healthy work/life balance, please do NOT message Miss Annie or any other mods with questions about products, shipping, orders, etc. 

Questions about Restrained Grace policies, orders and custom order requests should be directed to [email protected] for a quick response. If inquiring about an order, please include your order number in your email. 

11.) No Dirty Deleting

We hold our members accountable for their comments and statements, and ask that you not delete posts or comments without admin approval. Dirty deleting not only removes important discourse from the group, but also wastes the time and emotional labor of group members that engaged in the thread. The safe-word is IndyPuppy (that's Miss Annie's dog!). And we prefer that all of our members to know how things are handled when things might go sideways. 

Posting Guidelines

Group topics include:

BDSM, kink, power exchange, sex, sexuality, relationships, inclusivity, intersectionality, body positivity, and anything having to do with Restrained Grace. 

Engage the group in your posts:

Tell us a story, ask us a question, offer useful advice, or encourage others to share. This means that instead of posting a selfie, you can start, for example, a body-positivity selfie thread, a little space selfie thread, or a lingerie selfie thread. If you have exciting news to share, ask the group to share their exciting news with you, too! 

Share with us!

Feel free to share memes, articles, art, products, brands, and content you find elsewhere, but make sure that creators, models, photographers, and artists are properly credited. (And keep it on topic!) 

Posts that are not allowed include:

Selfies without context or conversation, content that is not actually related to the group topics above, personal status updates that do not stimulate conversation/request advice/educate, things that should be discussed in private (i.e. calling out a partner in the group for relationship issues/breakups/etc.)

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